Back At It!

Hey yall! Long time no see! I've been gone awhile due to some massive life changes; getting pregnant, having a baby, etc., but I'm back now, and do I have a lot to tell you today!

If you're Facebook friends with me, you've already seen me talk about this a little today, but I figured I could get into some more detail here, and I think it's a good way to get started writing again since this is something I feel so passionately about. The topic? One of my favorites: babies!!

Last night, I got some exciting baby news- a girl I know is expecting!! I'm not close with this girl. To be totally honest, I don't actually know that we've met outside the world of social media. So I'm probably more excited than I should be. But....babies!

Even when people I'm not close with, or really even know at all, have baby news, I get really excited for them. My baby was among the best things to ever happen to me, and I love seeing other people get to experience that. Being pregnant was physically uncomfortable, but emotionally incredible, and life only gets better at the end of those incredible 9 months. I love my baby so much; I literally can't get enough of him. Sometimes, when I'm putting him down at night, he'll fall asleep in my arms before I even put him in his crib, and I'll just hold him a little longer (and by a little longer, I mean I just held him and watched him sleep for a half hour last night). 

I don't like it when people say, "Here, I'll take him and give you a break." I don't need a break, and I'd really rather just keep him, but thanks. If you want to hold him, I'll share, but I'll do so grudgingly, and I will take him back the second I get the opportunity. I think I've accidentally offended some people in the past with this attitude. Let me promise you; it's nothing against you. 

I was told when I was 17 that I'd probably be unable to conceive. I was devastated, but I prayed for that little baby for the next several years. Then, when I did conceive (after trying for just a couple weeks- this is why I don't believe doctors!), I was told that his heartbeat was slow, and his chances didn't look very good. So, they monitored me closely for my first two months of pregnancy until it seemed like everything would be alright. I carried him for 9 months during which I got to feel him move and respond to my voice. I cried when I finally got to hold him on the operating table (he was a C-section baby because he was breach), and I didn't let go. Seriously. He only went to the nursery when they had to take him to be weighed. Other than that, I was holding him. The nurses tried to get me to put him down at night, but I refused. I was holding my baby, and I knew he was safe with me. He wasn't going anywhere.

Now, almost 8 months later, I only let go when I absolutely have to, because I know the time isn't far off where I'll have to let him go. He'll go to school in a couple years, he'll go to friends' houses to play, he'll go on travels with his grandparents, and eventually he'll find the woman I'm praying for him for, and go start a new life with her. So I will take all the time I can with him now. No parent has ever looked back and thought, "Wow, I really wish I'd held him less, given him less kisses, and whispered 'I love you' less." If you don't like my parenting style, sorry, not sorry. I make no apology for it, and I won't change it. I plan on giving him all the love I have. I'll let go when the day comes that I have to, but today is not that day.

Every baby is special and every mother/child bond is different, but each is the same in that they all come from the same place that originates with love. I'm so happy when I hear about another little life coming, because I know how much love is about to be added into this world that desperately needs it. In every little baby, and every "I love you" that a mother whispers to her baby, God's light shines through, and that is a beautiful thing.

The First Time I Got To Hold My Baby Boy