Time For Some Spring Cleaning

Happy spring yall! Well, it may not feel like spring just yet, but that’s ok. The season has started and soon the weather will catch on that it’s supposed to be warm. I’m excited for skirts, dresses, and flip-flops again! Besides comfortable clothes, spring also signifies a clean start and new beginnings, so what better way to start off spring than with a self-image overhaul?

I’m going to start the conversation where my own self-image overhaul began; my baby! “A baby changes everything.” That’s what everyone says, and I think saying it is pretty much stating the obvious. I knew that once I had my baby, my whole world would be changed. I was fully prepared to not sleep for the next few years, eat a hot meal, wear makeup, or have time to clean the house. Thankfully, our little man has been pretty easy-going, so I’ve gotten to do all of those things pretty regularly. I have yet to feel as exhausted as I imagined I would.

Even though a lot of things stayed the same, my life did change in some pretty big ways, but I was totally unprepared for one of the biggest changes of all. I never thought I would feel as confident being a parent, and a person, as I do. I wasn't exactly nervous about bringing the baby home. To be honest, I was more nervous about labor (which turned out to be a totally unnecessary worry because I ended up needing a C-section). But babies? I didn't really see what there was to be nervous about. I’d been around babies my whole life. I knew I would know how to change his diaper, dress him, feed him, etc. I knew I had all those essentials down.

But what about all the little things? All the books, blogs, articles, and websites out there are filled with information about what to do, and what not to do. And that would have been helpful…had it not all been contradicting information. Reading it all was overwhelming and started making me nervous, where I hadn't been before. So, rather than confuse myself and worry that I was going to do everything wrong, I was able to keep my sanity and gain my confidence because I ignored it all. And that turned out to be the best decision I could have made!

For example: Should I breast-feed, or give him formula? The “Nipple Nazis” (as my son’s pediatrician affectionately referred to them) would argue that “Breast is best.” Then other women would argue that they formula-fed, and their kids turned out just as well as breast-fed babies. What none of the books or other baby resources told me was that there is a secret third option -- bottle feeding expressed milk. I’d been breast-feeding for two weeks and growing increasingly frustrated. The baby wasn't latching very well most of the time, and whenever he did, it was uncomfortable. Little man and I were both miserable, when the idea hit me. Why couldn't I just pump and feed him with a bottle? He would still get the benefits that breast milk offers, but feedings would be so much happier for both of us! None of the books, doctors, or lactation consultants even mentioned it to me as a possible option, and in fact, when I told my son’s pediatrician that was our plan, he discouraged it (probably thinking that I’d grow frustrated with a pump). Despite that, almost eight months later, little man is still getting breast milk from a bottle, and life is MUCH easier.

A second example: When should I start introducing allergenic foods? Doctors and scientists have said that it’s important to wait X amount of time before introducing foods like peanuts, dairy, etc. due to allergies. That never made sense to me. How can kids build up a tolerance to something if they’re never exposed to it? Well, it turns out my question was valid because now science is saying exactly what I always thought; it’s better to introduce kids to allergenic foods early on.

Between the dreaded Mommy Wars, conflicting scientific studies, and well-meaning relatives who did it a certain way, is it any wonder that moms today are so nervous about having babies? With all the people who think they know what you should do better than you, is it any wonder that so many people have so little confidence in their decisions? So I have all my advice summed up in one word: RELAX.

I’m not saying that doctors, scientists, or your in-laws never know what they’re talking about. I’m sure they all know a lot more than I do. But science and someone else’s experience can only tell us so much, and I think it’s important to use parental instinct and personal intuition to bridge the gaps. Sticking with the parenting example, when you’re a parent, you know your child, and the people coming up with those studies have never even met him. Every child is created differently, and you are uniquely made to provide for his needs. You generally know what’s best for him, and what works best for you and your child might not be the best way for me and mine. Doctors say to lay your baby to sleep on his back. Well, mine was flipping himself pretty early on to lay on his stomach. Did I stress over it? No, because I ignored the books and did things the way my son needed.

So, take a couple deep breaths, let the Mommy Wars fall beneath you where they belong, and have confidence in yourself. No matter what stage of life you’re at, you can take this concept and apply it to your own life. Have confidence in your decisions. A great Biblical example is Noah. Can you imagine what people were probably saying about him, and to him, while he built his ark? And what about Elizabeth? She raised John the Baptist differently. Even his name was unconventional, because his name was not taken from a relative. Can you imagine what people had to say about that? History is full of people who went on to do great things because they didn't do things "the right way." Why should we be any different?

There have always been naysayers who thought they knew better, but if we can relax, and recognize that we’re being guided by that still, small voice, no one else’s voices matter. So overhaul your self-image and work on gaining some self-confidence. And then go out confidently and enjoy the beautiful weather we have coming!

Little man out with his cousin yesterday enjoying the weather! They had a great time being pulled in the wagon by "Granky."